Deputy Daniel Ray Carter Jr. fucked up… he hit the “like” button on a Facebook page set up that supported someone running for sheriff… someone other than his boss… the current sheriff running for reelection. Deputy Carter was fired… blah, blah, blah… it is now a First Amendment case. Recently, CNN has run a couple of “articles” that state that Facebook sometimes sucks. Basically, everybody wants to talk about how Facebook sucks… even on Facebook… Facebook doesn’t suck… People do.
This one is about how Facebook inspires status envy… really, your life is so fucking meaningless that you allow your Facebook “friends” statuses to make you jealous. How pathetic and sad is your life that you allow some made-up bullshit on Facebook to make you envious… yes it’s made-up… I know cause I make up fake Facebook statuses all the damn time. Get a life… If you are incapable of making shit up… get off Facebook and go out and do something… then when you are tired and blissful from actually participating in life… get back on and tell everyone how awesome you are (real or otherwise). People… this is a simple problem with a simple solution… this isn’t even a real problem… this is you being a drama queen… Your Highness… you be stupid. Facebook doesn’t suck, you do.
This one is written by a Facebook stalker who found out an old flame had gotten married. Boo hoo hoo… really??? You get on Facebook and find out someone you used to bump uglies with is now doing it with someone else, and you not only get upset (when on vacation!!!) but you then write an article for CNN about it? Number one… don’t stalk… you did this shit to yourself… you deserve no sympathy. Number B… if you know you have a pycho-hose beast personality lurking inside you… take some corrective action… upon ending a relationship… DELETE your former unskinny bop dance partner as a Facebook friend. If you have mutual friends… then let them know that your inner-Carrie might pour forth and let these mutual friends know that you would appreciate them not “accidentally” posting shit about your former lover… word to the wise: evaluate some of your mutual friends… some of them muthafuckers are posting shit about your ex on purpose… on purpose to upset you… because they know you are a crazy bitch. Facebook doesn’t suck, you do.
Wanna know why I don’t think Facebook doesn’t suck?… honestly, you do wanna know cause your reading this… My sister is seven years older than me… we weren’t close growing up. She was in high school when I was in elementary school… she was in college when I was in junior high… and married by the time I was in college. Because of our difference in age, my sister likes to say we were raised by two different sets of parents. There is some validity to this statement. She was their first and they were young when they had her… I came along as an accident… yeah, my mom calls me the accident that happened while they were living in Panama. I was born after my parents had seven years of child-rearing experience, plus I was a boy and my parents had stereotypical gender role beliefs. I was given a lot more rope to strangle myself with… I have the rope burns to prove it. Needless to say, my sister and I weren’t exactly the type of siblings that had a relationship that was built on years of living under the same roof… fighting the battle between children and parents. My sister pretty much allowed me to do my thing… and she quickly high-tailed her ass outta there.
Today, my sister and I communicate through Facebook. I had no idea of my sister’s love for photography until I started seeing her fantastic pictures on Facebook. I didn’t really get to know my sister until she started sharing her life through Facebook. My sister is quite nerdy… very absorbed in her role as mother and teacher… and I am proud of how well a job she has done raising my awesome nephew and niece. My sister is forthright and self-aware with me… she has admitted that she isn’t the warmest of individuals… but my sister, through Facebook, has offered her form of support and love. Without Facebook, I would have never known these things about my sister.
Facebook has allowed me to be part of closed and secret groups that are highly entertaining. My father’s side of the family has a Facebook group… that my mom set up and uninterestingly named “Family”… that has been a source of information that was unattainable prior to Facebook. My mom used to be the only way I knew what was going on in the family… my mom didn’t always provide what I considered pertinent information… family members would die and I wouldn’t know until after they were buried… my mom was unintentionally censoring my family information. As a child of a military father… I spent 13 years moving around the world, knowing cousins was restricted to limited visits of once a year if we lived in the States or more if we lived overseas. It wasn’t until I was a teenager that I got the opportunity to spend time with my extended family. Now I get to interact with extended family through Facebook. This “Family” group… you would think my mother could have come up with something better… has been a conduit in which the hospitalization and deaths of family members has been communicated. Family marriages have been documented through photographs… young cousins’ karate exploits are revealed… Facebook has allowed me be connected… like my father, I have chosen to live both abroad and distant… Facebook keeps me grounded to those that share my DNA.
Yes, Facebook is full of douchebags. Yes, people use Facebook to claim that President Obama ain’t Merican and that Mitt Romney hates dogs. Yes, people use Facebook to rally people about stupid shit like Chik-Fil-A hating homosexuals… honestly… I don’t give a shit. I ignore or mock this stupidity. I know people like to wave their love and hate of religion on Facebook… Hell I use it to be annoying, condescending, and sarcastic. I don’t share my private shit publicly on my wall… if I want you to know something private… I let you know privately… this is how I interact on Facebook… you interact the way you want to. Remember though… Facebook is technology and a business… it isn’t a person… it doesn’t even fucking make you sign up and use it… you freely choose to get on and spread your shit for everyone to consume. Facebook doesn’t suck, people do.